we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
