I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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