john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
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