And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Randomize
