Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
