he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
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