you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
