judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
There are leaves in my underwear?
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
