you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Randomize
