And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
