I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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