He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
