i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Randomize
