I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Randomize
