I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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