Already got asked if we're dating
Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Randomize
