I molested 6 butterflies tonight
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
