So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
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