where does the pee come out of this thing
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
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