So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
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