her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
