I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
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