ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
Randomize
