I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Randomize
