i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Randomize
