If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Randomize
