so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Randomize
