kristin has been a bad kristin
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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