bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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