I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
it was like having sex with a tree stump
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Randomize
