After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
I will be naked everywhere
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Randomize
