His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Randomize
