You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
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