just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
