Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
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