i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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