So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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