The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Randomize
