We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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