FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
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