The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
Randomize
