margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Randomize
