You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
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