dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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