Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
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