Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Randomize
