Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
