dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
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