if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Randomize
