do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
