eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Randomize
