I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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