we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Randomize
