I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Randomize
