I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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