How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
