As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Randomize
