i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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