The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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