I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
