Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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