508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I'm way too hungover for life right now
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
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