I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
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