was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
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